What did the king say to the queen?
“Is dinner ready yet?”
What did the queen say to the king?
“I don’t know, I’ll go check.”
What did the king say to the rook?
“Have the other chaps arrived yet?”
What did the rook say to the king?
“I don’t know, I’ll go check, mate.”
What did the king say to the pawn?
“Where can I get a nice necklace for the queen?”
What did the pawn say to the king?
“Why don’t you come take a look in my shop?”
Well I must say, this is the first time I have ever heard of the “hand on face” hug. I have certainly never received one of said hugs. I must be hanging out with the wrong (or maybe the right) people.
Billy the Banker bought his gun
(While under the influence of the broiling sun)
To get back at that Cheater-man
Known only affectionately as “Dan”.‘Twas a Colt, and a mighty fine pistol, friend,
That Billy chose; Dan’s life would end
Before sunset in two days’ time.
(It’s your job to complete this rhyme.)So the sun came up, and the sun went down,
And the stars shined bright, and the moon went ‘round.
When the evening came on the second day
Bill called to Dan to come out and play.Billy faced east and Dan faced west
And prepared for a classic quick-draw contest.
The sheriff was there to referee
(his money on Dan, I gaurantee).A drummer-boy standing in a shady place
Began to beat as they took each pace.
One, and they took one step apart.
Two clearly heard a beating heart.Three women turned, trying not to faint.
Four children stared without complaint.
Five birds sat silent in the trees.
Six feathers rustled in the evening breeze.Seven crickets chirped unknowingly.
Eight leaves fell from the old shade tree.
Nine men felt time had slowed to a crawl.
Ten, this would end once and for all.Dan spun ‘round and Billy did, too,
And then came the part everyone thought they knew:
But Billy was blinded by the setting sun,
And Dan by the glare off of Billy’s gun.No shots were fired, but both men fell.
Down went the sun and up came a yell.
Billy and Dan were helped to their feet.
They dusted themselves and walked off the street.So ends the Ballad of the Banker-man
And his new business partner, Cheater-Dan.
Billy and Dan are now good friends,
And this is how the story ends.
“The six great gifts of an Irish girl are beauty, soft voice, sweet speech, wisdom, needlework, and chastity.” (Theodore Roosevelt, 1907)
Discuss.
Thick-rimmed glasses:
The ones that came back in style last year.
You can’t get them out of your mind, you know the kind.
They seem to whisper, “There’s more than meets the eye over here.”You’ve never seen her let her hair down,
And you never will, you fear.
But “The hair does not the woman make,” for heaven’s sake.
There’s more than meets the eye over here.She reads Snow White,
And one day her Prince Charming will appear.
Without so much as a second look, she’ll put down her book.
There’s more than meets the eye over here.Oblivious men (but I repeat myself),
Who haven’t got ears to hear
The honey-sweet song in each “Hello”, will never know
There’s more than meets the eye over here.