Subtle Coolness

Two of my close friends were victimized by thieves in the past week. Judging from their behavior (the thieves’), I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t take a load of brains to steal stuff. Here are some examples of clever thievery I have gleaned from my friends’ experiences.

1. Don’t be seen. Both criminals succeeded in getting away with the goods unnoticed. I’m surprised they had the sense to follow this step, though.
2. If there are keys next to the target purse, don’t bother. Of course there will be no identifying material inside the purse that may lead you to a car or apartment or house with which the keys might fit. Coincidentally, the contents of the purse are probably more valuable than the contents of the aforementioned car or apartment or house, anyway.
3. If you manage to score a phone inside the purse, don’t forget to answer it when it rings. Who knows but what the owner of the purse is a drug dealer and someone is trying to make a payment?
4. Perhaps it would be better to return missed calls, too, especially if someone called the phone about a dozen times the night it was stolen. They obviously wanted to talk to someone or they wouldn’t have called so many times. The morning after the theft is a good time to do this.
5. When you do return those calls, remember to make up a stupid alibi when you are accused of stealing the purse. “I was working at a construction site at 11:00 at night,” is a good one I’ve heard recently.
6. Lay low; don’t make any purchases with the stolen credit/debit cards. Someone somewhere might be able to track you somehow. I think.
7. If you must buy something, go to places like Walgreen’s and Payless, so as not to draw attention to yourself. I think Payless is having that $5-$7-$9 sale at the moment, so go knock yourself out.

Note: all of this actually happened.

What do you get when you mix together a cheap webcam, a Rubik’s Cube®, some cheesy remixed Mario music, Windows Movie Maker, and nothing to do on a Monday afternoon?

Ladies and gentlepersons, it is with great pleasure that I announce to you my debut work, entitled Cube. My only regret is that it is in Windows Media Video format.

Enjoy!

Operation Neverending Story production update! Day 114: Things are comeing along right on schedule. So far, we seem to have only hit one major snag. Um, and that is, I spent an hour this morning slowly googling towards an ever-increasingly apparent realization that, to achieve the simple functionality I desired on my website, I needed to burn every bridge between subtlecoolness.dyndns.org and the rest of the Internet.

I then spent ten minutes carefully and methodically burning the aforementioned bridges.

I would explain, but I’ll spare you, reader. I will merely suggest thinking before making rash decisions. Learn from my mistakes.

And guys, dilate your eyes. I understand it’s a hit with the ladies.

Need I say more? Here’s the high resolution shot for those who want it.

While I’m at it, here are some other super-high resolution photos that are free for the taking:

The computer lab was reserved today, by the Pan-Hellenistic Council. Do you know what that is? Sororities, that’s what that is. The sororities of the University of Texas at Austin reserved the entire Student Microcomputer Facility for Sorority Registration.

This entails several hundred incoming freshmen ladies, mostly of upper-class upbringing, selecting the sorority they would like to join.

I heard someone refer to the event as a “hoochie-fest”.