Subtle Coolness

Last Friday Rebecca came to my apartment after work. We went for a walk around my neighborhood. We were almost back to my apartment when I looked down and saw an iPod Shuffle. I picked it up and put it in my pocket.

Besides a unique serial number, there are no identifying marks on the outside of an iPod Shuffle. I searched for web pages that could help me find an owner knowing only the serial number, but I didn’t find anything helpful. I decided I wanted to plug the iPod into a computer to see if I could get any more information.

The iPod uses a special cable that I did not have; it costs $29 at the Apple Store. However, I remembered that my supervisor at work has an iPod Shuffle, so I explained my situation to her in an email and asked if I could borrow her cable. She brought it to work on Tuesday.

I plugged the iPod into an available MacBook Pro at the Help Desk. The first thing I noticed was the name of the device: “Nathan Wood’s iPod Shuffle”. Now I had a name.

If there was any music on the iPod that had been purchased from the iTunes Store, I would have been able to find an email address. Unfortunately, all the music was either copied from a CD or obtained in some other way. With nothing to help me but this name, “Nathan Wood”, I turned to the Internet.

Google has an excellent phonebook service, and typing “nathan wood, austin, tx” into the Google search box returned one result in the phonebook. There was a Nathan Wood that lived across the street from me; I had found the iPod right outside his house. I was sure I had found the owner. Now I had an Austin-area telephone number.

I also search for his name in the UT Austin public directory, and found the same person, but with a different telephone number: this one was from Denver. I assumed this would be a mobile phone, so I called it first.

After four rings, someone answered: “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Nathan?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“My name is William. I’m calling about an iPod. Did you lose one?”

“No, I didn’t lose an iPod.”

Hmm, that’s strange. “Alright, thank you very much.”

“Wait, did you find an iPod with this telephone number on it?” Nathan asked.

“No, I found an iPod with a name on it, and I looked up the name in the directory.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I didn’t lose an iPod.”

“Okay. Have a good day!”

At this point I felt that I had made a good faith effort to locate the owner of the iPod, and I had no other leads to follow, so I consigned myself to the fate that is owning an iPod Shuffle. And I was happy.

But I knew something was funny. And I was right!

Later that night, my phone rang; it was Nathan, calling from that Denver mobile phone. When I had called him earlier that day, he was thinking about his regular iPod, and wasn’t thinking about his iPod Shuffle.

“Is it one of those tiny, silver iPods with the clip?” he asked.

That was a good enough description for me, so I asked if he was home. He told me he was, and I said I was just across the street and would be there in less than a minute. I went over there, he came out of his house, I handed him his iPod, and went home.

And that is the story of how I found, almost owned, and ultimately returned a lost iPod Shuffle.

If you just want the pictures, then go to the pictures.

Team Ravenclaw had a strong showing tonight. By the end of the night we were the only team left with all seven players. But it was long, and tiring, and we just didn’t have the game in us this time.

It looks like I’ve become full-time keeper, too. Which is fine by me. Who needs all that running around anyway?

Also, might I add, I was so happy that my good friends Rebecca and Elizabeth joined our team. They were great chasers. And beaters.

Introduction

Quidditch is a ballgame popular among magical folk. It involves several balls of different size and composition, and flying on broomsticks.

In recent years, muggles (non-magical folk) have taken an interest in the game and attempted to adapt it to their physical (and magical) limitations. Unfortunately, muggles do not have the luxury of magical balls or magical broomsticks.

A few forms of indoor and outdoor Muggle Quidditch have arisen. This document will explain the rules of play for one style of indoor Muggle Quidditch. For alternatives, including outdoor styles, see the Wikipedia article on Muggle Quidditch.

This document will be easier to understand if the reader is already familiar with the rules of traditional Quidditch.

Equipment

First, there are the balls. You will need

• one soccer ball (hereafter referred to as the Quaffle);
• two soft balls (that’s soft balls, not softballs) about six inches in diameter (hereafter referred to as the Bludgers);
• and one rubber high-bounce ball, 1-2 inches in diameter (hereafter referred to as the Golden Snitch).

You will need four brooms, one for each seeker and one for each keeper. Use of the brooms will be explained later.

You will need four bats, one for each beater. For safety’s sake the bats should be foam, like these bats on Amazon.com. (The balls that come with those bats make good Bludgers, too.)

You will need at least two hula hoops, for the goals. Traditional Quidditch has three goal hoops per side, but in our version we will use the basketball hoop for one goal and the hula hoop for another, with only two goal hoops per side.

You will also need two oven mitts. I will explain later.

The Pitch

The game is played best on a basketball court, or any other similar-sized area with a hardwood floor and walls.

Hula hoops are mounted on opposite walls, using duct tape, balance, or any other means necessary. If the Quaffle cannot pass through the hoop, points are awarded for the Quaffle hitting the wall inside the hoop.

Each team is composed of seven players: a keeper, three chasers, two beaters, and a seeker. In addition to the two teams, at least five other people are required.

All players wear socks. No shoes allowed!

The Keeper, the Chasers and the Quaffle

The match begins with a toss-up of the Quaffle between two opposing chasers, at the center of the pitch, by a non-pitch participant. The two Bludgers are immediately thrown into play, one toward each side.

The chasers pass the Quaffle between themselves, moving it down the pitch, and attempt to pass it through one of the opposing team’s goal hoops. When a chaser is in possession of the Quaffle, he must leave one foot planted on the floor. He can pivot and turn, but he cannot advance down the pitch.

No other player may attempt to force the Quaffle from the hands of a chaser.

The keeper defends his team’s goal hoops, using any part of his body and his broomstick, if necessary. The Quaffle is the only ball he should (intentionally) touch.

Chasers and keepers are the only players who can pick the Quaffle up off the floor.

Ten points are awarded each time a team manages to pass the Quaffle through the opposing team’s hoop. If the keeper accidentally knocks the Quaffle through his own hoop, points are still awarded.

The Beaters and the Bludgers

The beaters are the only players who can pick a Bludger up off the floor. They use their bats to launch the Bludgers toward other players. When a beater has a Bludger in his hand, he cannot move. He must launch the Bludger (using his bat) from his current position. A beater cannot launch a Bludger with anything except his bat.

A beater cannot launch a Bludger at a keeper. A beater can, however, launch a Bludger at the opposing beaters, chasers, and seeker.

If any player is hit by a Bludger (other than the keeper, of course), that player must retreat to the nearest sideline and wait thirty seconds before resuming play. Once a Bludger hits the floor, it is not “dangerous” until it is picked up and launched by a beater. If a Bludger bounces from one player to another, both players have been hit and must sit out for thirty seconds.

Beware friendly fire. If a beater launches a Bludger and it hits one of his teammates, the player that is hit must still sit out for thirty seconds.

The Seeker and the Golden Snitch

The seeker and the Golden Snitch are the most difficult aspects of Quidditch for muggles to simulate. Keep in mind that the following circumstances have been designed to make it intentionally difficult for a seeker to catch the Snitch.

A seeker has a broomstick that he must keep between his legs at all times, but he cannot touch the broomstick with his hands while moving. If he is about to lose the broomstick, he can stop and use his hands to re-adjust, but that is all. He cannot travel if either of his hands are on the broomstick.

The seeker can only use one hand to catch the Golden Snitch. The seeker must choose which hand to use before the match begins, and wear an oven mitt on that hand.

Several non-pitch participants are required to facilitate the “flying” of the Golden Snitch. When the match begins, at least five “Snitch-throwers” surround the outside of the playing area. One of them holds the Golden Snitch. About ninety seconds into the game, that person throws the Snitch. The seekers chase it as it bounces off the walls and floor. The other Snitch-throwers also come on the pitch and try to catch the Snitch.

If a seeker catches the Snitch, 150 points are awarded to that seeker’s team and the match is over. If a Snitch-thrower catches the Snitch, all Snitch-throwers return to the sidelines and the one with the Snitch waits about ninety seconds before throwing it again.

Conclusion

As more Muggle Quidditch matches and tournaments are organized, the rules will no doubt become standardized, and this information may change. Until then, feel free to further adapt the rules to your particular circumstances.

I don’t know about you, but I had a wonderful evening.

I called up my friend Michelle earlier today to ascertain if she was busy this evening. It was spur-of-the-moment, I admit, but it was only this morning that I discovered that the International Space Station would be visible this evening. I wanted to see it, but I also wanted to share this wonderful experience with someone else so I decided to make a date of it.

It turns out Michelle was free, so she met me at my apartment just in time to see the Space Station pass across the night sky. I was afraid she would miss it, but her timing could not have been closer, for the pass only lasted about one minute, and then it was gone. But we definitely saw it, and hands down it was the coolest thing I have seen orbiting our planet this week.

With that spectacular light show out of the way, we each made a cup of hot chocolate and proceeded to walk around my neighborhood in search of Christmas lights. We found some really good displays, we drank some really good chocolate with real candy canes melted right in, and we even took turns spilling the aforementioned chocolate onto ourselves.

We also had an enjoyable stroll and pleasant conversation. We ended the evening back at my apartment with ice cream cake and looking at photographs. Oh, what fun!

Today I went on a tour of the Texas Advanced Computing Center. I saw a lot of computers. The main room that was full of equipment was hot in some places and cool in some places, depending on which row I was standing in.

When I’m older, I want a big rack of computers in my closet or my basement. My website will be a lot faster then.